The week before last I talked about how, what I wear and when I get up affects how I work. The gist was; it doesn’t. In my three months of self employment I have never had a problem with motivation, keeping busy or keeping focussed. Yet by writing that simple blog post I seem to have jinxed myself in some horrible way.
To be fair, a couple of things happened simultaneously, not just the bad luck that comes with professing your own awesomeness publicly. I completed my To Do List. A mental list which, along the way, has taken at least 50 physical paper states and just as many digital. A list I started this time last year, that’s right a year long list… because that’s how I roll, apparently. Since the inception of this list I have been flat out, luckily for me I’ve never been particularly good at sitting still anyway, especially when there is a lot to do. Last June/ July I started wedding planning, which continued on through till October when the Christmas rush started and took over most of my focus (at both my full time day job and my Jewellery business) – this went on, as you’d imagine, till late December. Then there was actual Christmas, New Years, wedding planning was of course still ticking away in the background while all this was happening. January was full of the stress involved in deciding to, and then actually, quitting my 9-5 job. February was making sure all the shops I deal with had enough stock as I was about to go away, finishing up my day job, and jumping head first into the idea of self employment… but first I decided to add a huge dollop of stress to the equation of doing so by spending all my savings on… March, the wedding and all the related stress and good times that go along with such an occasion, then a two month honeymoon in Asia. While (don’t get me wrong) the honeymoon was great fun and relaxing for the most part we did it more like backpackers than normal honeymooners, so there were many logistics to organise, travelling, culture shock, new food, even when it was good… there was always something going on to think about and keep us busy. In May when we got back I started on the Jewellery related list that had been niggling un-resolved since August when I stopped having time for such things, contacting shops, taking new product shots, starting on some new lines, re-opening my Etsy shop, new packaging & logo design, getting a Facebook routine, opening a Pinterest account, starting a Blog, doing tax, getting a handle on accounting.. the list was endless… and I chipped away at it in some way every waking hour, every day of the week.
Two Thursdays ago I got up and realised I had nothing ‘To Do’. Don’t get me wrong, there is ALWAYS something to do in a business like this, and I still have many ideas sketched out, or things on the back burner. But for the first time since this time last year I felt like I deserved a day off, so I went back to bed.
It was a great day! I read, relaxed and stayed warm. I met a friend for a drink in the afternoon and then another for a big catch up in the evening (many beers followed).
The next day I was hungover, I slept in a wee bit. When I got up I had no direction… no purpose… I procrastinated finding something useful to do. Then the doubt set in, the ‘can I really do this’ moment we all have from time to time. It’s winter, it’s a slow time of year… nothing much sells in winter, bank levels dip as does confidence. What to do in the quiet months is an endless battle with your internal voice- ‘Make more stock, you’ll need it come the busy season when you’ll have no time to make it’ fights with ‘I have so much stock, no one will ever buy it all’. Being able to quell that inner voice, to busy it with next season’s products, getting a handle on accounts, a new project… is key. Fake it till you make it they say… I say let’s make another ‘To Do list’!